Child Abuse .. it's so hard to go on

I don't know much about parenting, no wonder why I don't have any plans to have kids yet. Just enjoying my married life as well with family and friends. I don't know what could be the reason why your father did that to you, only him can explain that.

But what we all know is, we all have Human Rights and getting beaten, slapped, kicked, etc. just to be disciplined is inhuman. Stupidity I would call. Since beating a child will prove no point but plant hatred, sadness, depression, and more negative emotions to the child. And no day on that child's life he/she can forget about that. Because that was what the parents tried to write on the child's book. That will be the child's story, the child's past that he/she will continue carrying until he/she will build his/her own family. And the cycle will continue but depending on how that child will choose to live her life. Beating a child is as well telling and teaching the child that that is the right way of disciplining kids. They will grow and bring with them such lame teachings from lame parents. But it's still up to them if they want to be like their lame parents. Now,

Do you want to be like them Regi?

You're a smart girl, I know the answer will be no. You see, you're not the only one who undergone or undergoing such situation with their parents, some even face the more serious matters (but what could be more serious if for you this is the worst right?). I've been with a lot of fights with my parents way back. Got slapped really hard by both of my parents, kicked, hit by sticks, etc. because of the same thing - arguing with them and trying to make a point. Explaining to them what I think. Something they can't seem to understand so they argue and disagree with me. Act as if they are the best people on Earth who knows everything better but when I had all the opportunities, I proved them wrong. Those physical and emotional pain I had way back, I took it as a motivation. To prove my parents that what I was saying and fighting for was a big deal, and with sense. And I didn't fail. I did all I could to not let that past of mine ruin my life, my childhood, my future. I stood tall, tried to clear the sad thoughts, my questions and tried to forgive them. Because I know as parents, if we answer back to them and we don't pay respect to them which they deserve no matter what kind of parents they are, they are feeling hurt too. What my mom told me before, "It's not going to happen if I didn't let it happen!" Parents who loves their kids so much hurt their kids unintentionally. Sometimes because they are shocked, sad and hurt, hitting us is the only way they know or the only thing that popped in their heads to make us stop hurting them. But, bygones be bygones. What I am sure of is I learned from every pain I had and mistakes I did in the past. And those things is what makes me who I am now.

Now, they are nothing but my proud Parents.

PS: I am not saying it's your fault or your parents. What I am saying is, don't let this thing plant you hatred against your parents, specially sadness. They love you, you know that.

 

hey mister! What will you do then if you have a brat child? A rebel one? Scolding him/her wouldn't be enough, you should give him something that he/she will remember the rest of his/her life, and slapping him/her would be a reminder.

You know nothing about parenting!

 

I dont know, i looked like a pouting fish
lips were quite numb ._.

 

I fail to see how I am racist when my first language isn't English but ok lmao. Also I was speaking more of how you interpret not how you write ^ ^ . I said worse because there wasn't a reason behind it, I will not go into this further than to say that my father abused myself and my mother out of anger and to the point where my mother was scared for our lives. Also I guess you didn't read further because I also mentioned that I didn't know the whole situation I was merely giving her my experiences. It's the most I can offer to her as a friend, when I don't know all the circumstances.

She's very young, she doesn't deserve physical abuse for minor things. That is a ridiculous thing to say. Now as I said before gtfo

 

well thats bad parents not the childs fault if they become brats or rebels and giving them a slap wont help anything.
so i know nothing about parenting? and u base that info on what? siriusly if u have to slap your child for doing something bad then there is obviusly something wrong with ur parenting in the first place u should maybe look how u treat ur children and give them some respect and they will give it back and they wont be brats nor rebels

 

i also want to know the real reason o.o your believes

 

that's the way life is. maybe you want to fantasize on your on beliefs. ok then go ahead. but that is my point of view. btw she's 13. i think she knows it.

 

children want free will, you give it to them, they become brats and spoiled and parents get the blame? yes it is a parent's fault because he/she should not let his/her child to act undisciplined

 

That's not the way life has to be. We're from Australia, we don't live in the slums and our family does not need to abuse and kill us. Over here these matters are taken seriously and not tolerated. So so sad for you, but I could care less about your life tbh. Also I know how old she is.

 

bravo a smart comment but that doesent mean u have to slap them

 

u make me wanna qq regi
stop

 

People tend to talk about how Regi's parents are the bad guy without being in their place in the first place. We tend to judge her parents because of what happened and what they did to Regi but we never even been in their shoes. How hard could it be to act fine when things are not fine?? How hard could be a parent standing there seeing your kid answering back to you?? How hard is it to accept that your child is growing the way you don't want it to be??

I believe that what Regi's parents did was wrong. Really wrong and there's no explanation about that. It's wrong, period. But saying such things to Regi you think helps her to know and think what's right?? With such posts we do nothing but to bring more hatred in Regi's heart. We should try to make her feel better and at least make her move on, not add more complications and aches??

 

mhm exactly. Look at it from more than one perspective, understand that she is their child, understand that all the circumstances aren't known and just try to make her feel better. Telling her she should report it immediately and her parents are horrible and wrong isn't the best thing to tell a teenager -.- and I'm sure this isn't bringing her any comfort either.

 

True. Telling Regi how bad her parents are will just make Regi feel worse. Or advice her to report her parents, what will happen next? She'll lose her parents? She will think she is very unlucky having such parents, pathetic, etc. and on her age she should be enjoying her life, not thinking about such things.

I know it's hard to move on, and be fine after what happened but life goes on no matter what. They are your parents and you need them until you reach your righteous age. Try to be good and even how hard it is, pay respect to them. They deserve it after all. If not because of them, you're not here. We owe our lives to our parents. Even just that, we try to take in consideration.

♥

 

i know what you feel... i felt the same when im at your age.. when you grow up (being mature enough) you wil understand, why your father did that.. someday you wil become a parent too..

try to see things in a positive way little prety regiix..

PS: good thing you have gamezaion family..

 

When i was younger i got smacked a couple of times on the face telling me to wake up to the real world, not to realise that everything is .. easy. When i thought about it then, i wondered if a smack to the face was needed at all, now when I look back onto it I kind of think it was needed.

But that doesn't explain what's happening to you >.<. If you feel like your being bullied by your parents, and you feel like you can't go on, stay strong and remember, you won't be young forever.

My thoughts are with you >.<

 

You're stuck at the annoying age where you don't understand your parents and they don't understand you. It's infuriating and irritating and you feel like you can never speak your opinions or be yourself. But coming from a different culture like yourself I can see that your parents are probably very "traditional" in the way that they parent and god do I understand how ridiculous it gets.

Just keep moving forward, that's all you can do until you're out of there. Trust me it's not that long before you're out in the real world by yourself. I really think your parents intentions are good, but again I don't know the whole situation so it's difficult to say. If it gets really bad and you don't know where to turn, seek help. We're so lucky we're not in our own countries for that reason ^ ^. Stay happy :sideways: you're a sweet, smart kid. This is only a small portion and not even the beginning of your life.

 

When the time comes that you're on your own you will suddenly miss your younger years and want to be with them more because having parents beside you all the time providing you everything you need is the greatest period in life. When you're on your own, have to decide everything for yourself and just one wrong decision, huge problem and you've got to face it on your own, work for your own expenses... The time you will miss being with them and wish never gotten old.

I've been there. Really. Sad part is, I cursed my life before and wanted to grow fast so I can leave my parents behind but look where it got me. Thousand miles away from them T_T Even how much I want them and need them, all I can do to reach them is through online. Can't even hug them.

 

im 17 and i think i understand it well..

first of all, can you tell me the reason why did he hit you? i mean, there should be a quite good reason why he did that..

number two, the parent did wrong, if someone contradicts me, think bout it why..
i have a quite low temper i don't get mad easily, even if you throw stones on me, i would just pick the stone and ask why did you do that.. if i were the parent i should just simply go for a talk, this will calm the both sides and the parent should go for the first move since he is more mature and has more experience regarding this matter.. if someone heats up, the other should still be cool for the conversation to continue, and one thing that mostly every family forgot nowadays is to PRAY.. in our family, my father is a military and my mother is a teacher, me and my father had some arguments sometimes coz my father shows his military ways inside the house and he doesn't understand that we aren't like him, that is why i always calm the situation down and pray to GOD that the situation wouldn't go worse, and there miraculously by the next minute were like brothers already.. i read some comments here but ive seen no one says anything bout GOD (we don't have same religions all, im a Roman Catholic but i don't worship our GOD, i can't see my GOD but i know HE is there to guide and watch us always) as of now our family is still so good seems that our bonds tightens every single day.. and for this situation, the father should go directly to you and ASK FORGIVENESS, humbling down is one of the key for a better relationship in the family. If your father can't do this, then HE is a FAILURE as a PARENT, HE don't have the time to reflect on his actions, it is the duty of a parent to listen to his children first before making conclusions. Slapping in the face is one of the worst things that a father can do to his child (also he did it twice), and what can you do? DON'T REPORT IT AND STAY IN YOUR ROOM AND PRAY, settle it only in your family, when you call for a help outside, you don't know what might happen next, it might worsen the case.

number three, if i put my shoes on the father, and my kid answers back to me.. i would ask myself, did i do the right upbringing? did i do wrong on how did i raise her, not just slapping suddenly.. the father should've thought something like this. The truth is, the child would never say words to her parents if the parent didn't do anything that will make the child trigger saying it, what i mean is there should be something that the father said that made regi call him names, and also im not taking sides in here. As i can see, it's already a habit of yours saying those words just by reading your post. Don't get mad, just think about it. They are your parents whether you like it or not, no one can substitute them.

PS. You can take advices from other people but not asking help from them.

If you take out those words and never say them again.. i might kind of like you, your cute

cheer up and pray. If only im there w/ you, i guess i can talk to your parents for you and ask for a marriage proposal in front to all of you. Well that is if you don't have a boyfriend..


*just kiddin ^^

when you are fully grown up, married and have kids, and your parents are not there already( well they're not immortal) you'll surely miss the times when you have fun w/ them and want to have it back and im sure that almost all of your questions will be answered when that time comes

 

I've been punished and hitted by parents too. That's the way of accomplishment. Just try not to make this situation happen again. Maybe you should review the way of your behaviour. Nothing personal, just my 25 age experience. You know, I was thinking several days ago about what man i would be, if not my parents. Remember, they don't hit just for fun. There's always reason forcing them to do it. Think about it and make this never happen again. Good luck to you! Get well as soon as possible.

ps. Just stay calm try not to do some stupid things to yourself. And remember! Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!