QQ Help

Anger Management
Controlling Your Anger Before It Controls You




" Here is the facts...


We all get angry. It’s a normal emotion. However, some of us handle our
anger better than others.

While one person might be a bit unhappy when someone cuts him off in
traffic, another is so angry that he shouts and swears, and starts driving
aggressively himself.

How can the same event cause such different reactions? And how can you
make sure that your reaction is the calm one, instead of the wild one?

Anger can be a normal and healthy emotion that helps us instinctively
detect and respond to a threatening situation. More than this, when it is
properly channeled, it can be a powerful motivating force.

However, it can also be an emotion that gets out of control, leading to
stress, distress, unhealthiness, and unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can
seriously harm your personal and professional life.

Anger is a well-developed coping mechanism that we turn to when our goals
are frustrated, or when we feel threat to ourselves, people, things and ideas
we care about. It helps us react quickly and decisively in situations where
there is no time for a careful, reasoned analysis of the situation.


The Danger of Anger – Foolishness...

On the other hand, a negative response can damage relationships and lead
to a loss of respect and self-respect. This is particularly the case when we
react instantly and angrily to what we perceive to be a threat, but where that
perception is wrong. This can leave us looking very foolish.

Anger management, then, is the process of learning how to “calm down†and
diffuse the negative emotion of anger before it gets to a destructive level.

A Subjective Experience

People experience anger in many different ways and for many different
reasons. This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand and deal
with.

So anger management focuses on managing your response (rather than
specific external factors).

Despite our differences in the level of anger we feel toward something, there
are some universal causes of anger that include: Frustration of our goals,
Hurt, Harassment, Personal Attack (mental or physical) on ourselves, Threat
to People, Things or Ideas that we hold dear.

We commonly experience these potential anger triggers in our daily lives.

Using the Tool

So when you’re angry, use the 12-step approach which is based on the
ideas of Duke University’s Redford Williams MD, who with his wife, authored
the best-selling book Anger Kills:

Step 1: Maintain a “Hostility Logâ€
Use Hostility Log worksheet to monitor what triggers your anger and the
frequency of your anger responses. When you know what makes you angry,
you will be able to develop strategies to contain it or channel it effectively.

Step 2: If you do, Acknowledge That You Have a Problem Managing Anger:
It is an observed truth that you cannot change what you don’t acknowledge.
So it is important to identify that anger is a roadblock to your success.


Step 3: Use Your Support Network
If anger is a problem, let the important people in your life know about the
changes you are trying to make. They can be a source of motivation and
their support will help you when you lapse into old behavior patterns.

Step 4: Use Anger Management Techniques To Interrupt The Anger Cycle
Pause, take deep breaths, tell yourself you can handle the situation and
stop the negative thoughts.

Step 5: Use Empathy
If another person is the source of your anger, try to see the situation from
his or her perspective. Be objective and realize that everyone makes
mistakes and it is through mistakes that people learn how to improve.

Step 6: Laugh At Yourself
Humor is often the best medicine. Don't take everything so seriously. The
next time you get angry, see the humor in your inappropriate expressions
of anger.

Step 7: Relax
Angry people are often the ones who let the little things bother them. If you
learn to calm down you will realize that there is no need to get uptight and
you will have fewer angry episodes.

Step 8: Build Trust
Angry people believe that others do something on purpose to annoy or
frustrate them. If you can build trust in people, you will become angry and
you will attribute the problem to something other than a malicious intent.

Step 9: Listen
Miscommunication contributes to angry situations. The better you listen to
what a person is saying, the better able you will be to find a resolution that
does not involve an anger response.

Step 10: Be Assertive
To be Assertive but NOT Aggressive. When you are angry it is often difficult
to express yourself properly. Assert yourself and let other people know your
expectations, boundaries, issues, you will have more interpersonal success.

Step 11: Live Each Day As If It Is Your Last
This saying may be overused, but it holds a fundamental truth. Life is short
and it is much better spent positively than negatively.

Step 12: Forgive
To ensure that the changes you are making go deeper than the surface; you
need to forgive the people in your life that have angered you. The only way
to move past your anger is to let go of these feelings and start fresh.

Even if you don't feel your anger is a problem, it is a wise idea to be familiar
with the processes listed. Being proactive with anger management will help
in keeping it a healthy emotion that protects you from any hurt or threat.

Final Note

Anger is a powerful force, both for good and bad. Used irresponsibly, it can
jeopardize your relationships, your work, and your health. Anger can also be
creative. People act when they get angry. And if their actions are
constructive, this actually helps drive change and get things done."

Written by a friend of mine, thought it might be useful.

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Instead of bitching about server crashes and bugs and blaming and flaming GMs and the Gamez staff... chill the fuck out. Support them for all the bs they put up with and how they help out when they can. They arent Game Gods they cant snap their fingers and make anything happen.​

 

nice post man, very helpful for some ppl out there, lol :sideways:

 

Just got sick of all the QQ + rage quit posts, its very simple don't like the way the server is? find a different server. There are plenty of people who love it here. GMs do what they can. Cant ask for more then that. Not like they have the power and don't use it.

 

Agreed.

EVERY CRASH at least 3 threads are made.

 

thats exactly my point of view too, dont like it leave, dont make a big scene and get ppl mad, lol. I know i hate ppl who do that, and i dont flame or print walls of txt unless the QQing noob deserves it, like the guy wanting the server shut down xD he had that wall of txt from me coming cause he thinks running a ps is simple lols.

Your post should be sticked so everyone can read it. ^^ again nice work posting it. many ppl will hopefully read it and benefit from it

 

I agree with you, definitely.
People are whinning like little 5-years-old girls,
They can play other games instead while the server is down...
The funny thing is,
When the server is back they're getting inside, having fun and ingratiating.

You flamers give shit about what people are doing, just be patient, go watch TV or something...
You need to learn how to act like a human and to appreciate other people.

FLAMING AND SPAMMING WON'T BOOST THE PROCESS.

 

topic should be: guide to all QQers wahahah

 

This needs to be stickied

 

You went too far, Yunis

 

Doubt any proQQer will even read this since their english is barely understandable.

 

+3 1/2 to this ;o:love:

 

meh, or you could jsut listen to dwight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVVsDIv98TA

both end up with the same results

 

Hu, so you noticed that too...

 

Actually it is,
but no one is going to read this scroll.

---------- Post added at 02:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:20 PM ----------

Did you actually try?

 

hmm to b honest this is just one of the few constructive threads ive ever seen in the forums lol, its really good that some1 posted this

 

Always crash ...

 

It didn't crash today
And it wasn't laggy, by the way.

 

EHEH, good post, many angry members in this comunity need that.

 

woot!! anger management 410P yay!

 

Or u can just talk to Adam Sandler`s shrink from "Anger Management" lmao !!