Poetry~

Hey folks,


I would like to start a new topic /discussion with you. This time about Poetry.

For me poetry is just like the music of my soul, I write down my thoughts of that very moment and then let others to judge the result. When I write a poem it feels like I discover a new side of myself, of my soul~

Here is my last one. Please critisize it and tell me if you like or not =]

~0~0~0~0~0~0~
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Loves Battlefield

Fallen down so far
Left wounded
With bloody battle scars

Always finding myself
In the center
Of the battle field
Left without a shield

Love always leads me to this place
Not armed.
Not safe.

How can I still be here?
Surrounded in this blood bath
Stuck in this war darkened shaft

Can you pull me out
I surrender
Take me as a prisoner of war
Cause no matter how much you hurt me,
My heart will always be yours.






~Raik

 

As long as you want it to be

 

In poetry there are no rules, feel free to express yourself :3


~Raik

 

good one.. o.o

 

Oh ? okies then ^^
in class, i had to write a story in the form of a ballad. Here:

There was a young boy and a young girl
Who had fallen for each other,
That young girl’s eyes, shone like a pearl
And that young boy was a serious lover.


They bumped into each other, in the school yard
And he looked right into her eye
The girl didn’t know why, her heart was thumping hard
But she knew it was Love at first sight.


They became good friends, good friends indeed
With a sun'shine above their heads
The girl’s face was filled, with salty tears
When she shredded and he regretfully said


‘I have to leave town, tonight and forever
I have to go at two
Even though we might not be together
But Sorry I love you.’


He left her in the bitter wind
Hearing her cry the tears of pain
‘He just never knew, how much I loved him.’
And the same thoughts ran through, her mind again.


She thought her life was ‘ineditable’
If she saw him everyday
She thought that they were inseparable
Until there was today.


The girl looked back at all the times
When he and she had talked.
She missed how they were perfectly fine,
Until she realised, that he had walked.


The dreadful shards of history
The fragments inside of her
They all remain a mystery
That was never, ever to be heard.


She put a Message of Regret
Into a tiny, blue-glass bottle
And into the end'less sea it set
Where she froze and started to muddle


‘If you can hear me, right now right here
I want you to understand
Each single night I tremble with fear
‘Cause I’m missing my superman.


So she set the bottle out to Sea
Where she hope if would not be found
And so she walked off the sorrowful beach
Without a single sound.


Days and weeks and months had elapsed
And she was so depressed
Her heart, her mind, her soul were trapped
That she was desperate for some rest.


Then one night she heard on the news
A young boy had been killed
All the facts she tried to refuse
But she knew that it was real.


It was because of a, terrible Plane crash
That had killed the little boy
But she thought it was just all nuisance and trash
Until the truth, had crushed her joy


She stood there without single word
With the most heartbreaking eyes
No longer did her eyes, shine like a pearl
But instead, they were ready to cry.


She broke down crying as hard as she could
She just couldn’t face the facts.
No longer was she as tough as wood
But just a little rat.


The poor young girl, died of depression
Without even saying her last confession
Though she was full, of beautiful affection
She lost her most important possession.

There was a young boy and a young girl
Who thought love was not that hard
But problems can start from anywhere
Even just a bump in the yard.

The end ^^

Constructive criticism and compliments are more than welcome
i understand that some of the paragraphs (or maybe even the whole story) dont make sense but eh, i couldnt be stuffed editing

 

bahaha, i made my family and friends cry with this poem >
and yes, i have experienced all of this, except the guy i liked didnt die, he left me O___O

 

Beautiful yet tragic

 

asankya i was going to write more about their rebirth and how they reunited, but i ran out of time

 

This poem got a wild beauty, natural emotions - love and pain.. I like it ^_^


~Raik

 

I'm not digging out my book from under my bed.... don't wanna read them anyways o.o

The ones you've posted so far are good though, I loveeee the theme of yours Regi

 

I have a thread like this one, I'll share one of mine, and one of nujabes because I fell in love with it. :>

Mine:

Moving down the field that smells of roses
I find myself happy
I look down and see my family and friends all in picture poses
What happens next is what makes it all crappy

The picture I hold fades
We vanished one by one
We are distanced and I am afraid
We don’t return like the morning sun

but with the loss of something, a new beauty appears
I find a warm place to which I can call home
I greet my new found friends and have some beers
I feel happier than seeing the Steelers win the Superbowl

I am blessed with feelings of euphoria
Suddenly I realized
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom

 

If you guys want I can see that the other thread gets merged with this one

 

A Girl That I Love

There's a girl that I love,
Her name I can't say,
She is one in a million,
One that will not go away.

She speaks her own mind,
And has her own tastes,
Always there when you need her,
She is first in my race.

She is not fake,
Doesn't put on an act,
She is just herself,
I know for a fact.

Long chestnut hair,
Sparkling brown eyes,
An intelligent mind,
These are not lies.

But nobody notices,
This beautiful girl,
Nobody notices,
Her charm and her pearl.

But I do notice,
All of these things,
I do notice,
What this girl brings.

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder',
Let her beauty behold me,
For I can't help but stare,
She is the light that I see.

And I will not rest,
Until I can see,
That I love her,

. . . And she loves me.



I wrote this one in the morning. I know it's nothing great but I kinda feel this way =/


~Raik

 

Doesn't matter to me. There's some good works from several members in mine. But I don't want to copy/paste their work EXCEPT for the one Nujabes wrote.

This one is by far one of my favorite ones I have ever read. Written by our own, Nujabes. (Hope he forgives me for spreading it around)

His Nameless Story

21 12 2060
Oh the illumination, casting over my fragile bones.
I worry where it’ll take me,
maybe above these well founded heroic skies
I always desired to have lived as such as that Ulysses I hear tales of.
Or perhaps the abyss down below?
Withering, withering surrounded by a gathering.
A congregation before my ultimatum, reaching their hands out
as if I was a lord or perhaps even a Jehovah.
I no longer remember the life I once walked.

29 4 2048
An unsung from the shadows I have become.
A thousand smiles linger to me,
shining heavenly that not even silver can buy.
The gulf has been closed... The sacrifices have been fulfilled...
Now a new beginning approaches. I gently smile for the very last time.

17 6 2036
Bullets after bullets, fragmented beliefs, bloods of the tender and all that
is left is a thunderous echo that barricades the doors to my divided soul.
The last remnant that held me as one is shedding away,
the story that was locked away inside.
Oh Bishamon, when will the madness end?
This disease once again clutches my self esteem...
The ace that held me as one has fallen.

11 14 2024
Volition and desire, fortitude over cowardice, a salvation in my world,
and what do I see, is a blessing in the flesh.
Our bloods united as one, a bound of infinity that holds no boundaries.
Drifting away in our own insanity.
None could foresee that the two would be reincarnation as one.
The era of liberation has begun.

Thirty six weeks of visions has reached to a climax.
My nameless saga fast approaches as the lights of entity flashes
through my distant eyes. Hands of reality pull my diminutive body out of its shell.
Blurry voices echo to my delicate ears...

Date of Birth December 21st 2012

Ulysess

I see a mushroom cloud in the Far East.

 

Totally loved it!


~Raik

 

Spoiler

This one is good. Rhyme patterns is important in Poetry.

 

This one was wroten by my best girl friend who is not longer in life... I just like it so much because it's so simple but yet got a deep meaning =]




Love Me

Boy:How can I prove I love you?
How can I show you my love is true?
Jump to the moon and back?
Or try to gain all I lack?
What do you want me to do?

Girl:There is nothing you can do to prove you love me
There is only one way to make me see

Boyarachute in the sky?
Or let you do whatever you want and never ask why?
Do you want me to write a song?
Or apologize for everything I've done wrong?
What should I do?

Girl: The one thing is not that hard
But it is the one thing that has left me scarred

Boy: Please tell me I need to show you
I want you to know my love is true

Girl:My love, there is only one thing you can do to make me see
And that thing is to just simply love me



~Raik

 

Looks like you've been writing quite a bit there Raik. I'll share one I made for my gf a long time ago.

Reasons

You don't know
The way you hold me when I'm asleep
The way you never let me down
You don't know, do you?

The way you wait until I'm safely home every night
The hair you curl and the makeup you wear, for me
The smile you beam every time you see me
You don't know

The blankets you bring when I am cold
The heart you give, because I am yours
You really don't know, do you?
The reasons I love you



​

 

Yeah, I like writting. I like to write down all my thoughs whenever I feel depressed or happy, in love or in pain. It's like keeping a diary of your emotions, of your life with your beloved ones. =]


~Raik

 

I was walking down Green street
When i saw an old man
he had Dirt covered feet
and broken-nailed hands

He walked up to me
and said Hello
He handed me a lolly
which content's were yellow

'Did you need anything?'
i asked curiously
'yes i need something!'
he screamed furiously.

He picked me up and we disappeared
I screamed and i cried as he drove off with a smile
I finally realised that he was something i feared
He was indeed a Pedophile

He stopped at a house
In an isolated place
i saw a black mouse
and imagined the man's face.

He pushed me on a bed
and started to molest me
I felt the periodic dread
because i lost my virginity

he pushed and i cried
he pushed and i cried

After an hour of fked up pain
I escaped the goddamn house
and then the sky started to rain
What did i do, to make the man aroused ?

I walked home, all hot and dirty
Never have my clothes been this damaged
i wanted to have kids at the age of thirty
but how is that possible, if my life is ravaged?

Fk this, Fk him, Fk my life
I finally had a taste of true hell
After a long think, i knew what was right
i jumped, and into the hungry sea i fell.

Im sorry mum, for the disrespect
but i did what i needed to do
i guess the man's penis was erect
and that he just needed to

But life has no determination
and If does not exist
No matter how high your expectation
Life will always have those tricks.

The end.

Constructive Criticism and Compliments are more than welcome
Like i said earlier, i just chucked down all my ideas and didnt really care what i wrote. xD