English Help Please

Yah, humm writing some essay atm, please give me feed-backs on my english, grammer, sentence structure and etc.

Is Justice Just?​

It is commonly consented that God’s will is always good and just. But, the question remains whether God’s will is good and just because it is justice or whether God wills it because it is good and just; if hurting a man is cruel and unjust, what would you say about Moses killing thousands of soldiers? Nevertheless, if Moses did not kill them, he would be indeed dead. Centuries ago Man was confronted with the fact that harming others could save him, thus violence for a heroic deed, such as policeman apprehending a thief could save other human beings. Yet, the thief may have family for whom he is stealing and apprehending him may mean starvation for his children, which is clearly wrong.

Conventionally to do evil is considered “more disgraceful” than to suffer injustice. Though people may think that it is better to suffer harm than to do harm to others, to suffer injustice is the greater disgrace. A man should live with integrity and not with astuteness, thus being deceitful to the public is unjust and using clever tactics for his own benefit is also unjust and disgraceful. The suffering of injustice is not the trait of a man but of a slave who should rather die than live. Because he is wronged and powerless, he is unable to help himself or any one else he cares about. If the thief mentioned above happens to be living in a society with great poverty, his theft is almost a moral right!

People often praise justice and censure injustice and a man’s inability to do justice. The best compromise seems to be is to do injustice and not be punished, and the worst compromise is to suffer injustice without the power of retaliation; justice, being at the middle point between the two, is tolerated not as an absolute good but as the lesser evil, and honored to be the truth. There is no Man worthy of being a man who does not do justice.

Man’s suffering may not just be physical but also emotional. When a man is capable of deceit another man always suffers. The door of Heaven would be tightly closed for this man. Sometimes we are passive when injustice happens, but when are hurt over and over again, we retaliate. Indeed this may lead to acrimonious violence. Once again we refer to the thief who may act violently because if he is caught, his family will starve.

I agree with Plato who says that, “the lawmakers are often the weak majority; and they make laws to distribute praises with censures with a view to benefit themselves and their own interests, which protects them from the strong. Thus they are terrified of the strong sort of man and those who are able to get the better of them*. They say that dishonesty is shameful and unjust; harming others is evil and disgraceful. However, does not each Man have their own desire to do what they please? Freedom is what allows Man to reach their destinies. But when a weak man is consummating their life’s work and a strong man destroys it, would that conclude why the majority of the weak made the law? Or is it even more disgraceful and unjust of the makers of laws because for they only wanted the power that would protect themselves from the strong.” Even God himself was afraid of the power of Man, thus Moses was directed to carve the Ten Commandments, and hence even the maker of the world has some sort of fear of the strong.

Then, why, indeed, can’t a weaker man be afraid of a stronger man and make a law to protect themselves from their cruel deeds.

*perhaps like the thief in the example



Please leave a feedback and tell me if my logic makes sense.

Thank You.

 

You might want to consider using other words instead of good. Use a thesaurus.

Never start a sentence with "But" in an essay.

The sentence highlighted in pink/purple is a little confusing, consider revising.

Good analogy with Moses.

Try to go crazy with the adjectives. "Heroic Deed" Try "Brutal violence" or "Cold violence" to give the essay a closer relation to it's reader. Give it a better feeling.

You might want to insert a thesis statement, it'll break or make your whole essay.

I would add a better hook as well. Maybe question the reader to get his attention more, and then that would clean up the "But" in the beginning of your second sentence. I.E. Is God's will ___ and ___? It has always been questioned if God's ___ and ___ is ... (Insert more b.s. here).

I only had time for the first paragraph because I'm sleepy. Good luck with everything.

 

eeeh? i was never good in english but if its math maybe i could help? LOL

 

thanks thanks so much

 

No problem Shoot me a pm and I'll try and see the rest of it tomorrow night (About 20 hours from now.) Since I need to sleep, then work a 12 hour shift. :>

 

thanks lalal

 

which college is this for? cant sleep

 

Guess... i need to write a Philosophical Discussion for Yale

 

oh, I'm a big big big philosophy fan. Shoot Nujabes a PM, maybe he can reference some more things for you. Look into Decartes, for some quotes to add on to your essay. Anything with him in it, as well as Plato (which you already mentioned) is insta positive credibility

 

Uh... if this is for highschool, you don't really need to make major changes . If it's a college/university level paper... then... umm wtf?

 

well to be exact is an entrace paper i suppose. What do you mean by wtf(like i need to make big changes or something wrong or?)

Thanks in advance

 

try looking at cartoons in englis 0.o thats how i learned english (beside school)

 

lolz anime ftw haha=)