To Moderators.

I'm hoping coz will read this thread, since the other just got closed.

When any thread that criticizes her or makes her feel under attack is deleted or locked instantly, and everything is seen as "drama" or "trolling", yes it is hard to do.

Autumn made the entire "To Moderators" thread to try to address problems with her, but for the most part it has been ignored in its entirety by the people it was made for.

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The fact that the thread got closed as soon as she was brought into question only fully reinforces what I've just stated. Prove me wrong.

 

I see many people don t like Bella .... is hard to make a poll and ask for her resignation?.... btw edixoid i don t hate you ..is just i don t like you and some others ...i am not a guy who is going to "lie" only to be "peace". if i have something againts someone i will just say in /his/her face...

 

I'm saddened as to how a thread gets made regarding giving criticism. Now that It's given, it gets ignored, or disposed off. All what's needed is a nice little talk, for improvements to be made.

A talk has been offered, and so far is being shoved off. >:

 

It's called imagination. Learn it live it. Deny it, Live through suffering. That is the current conflict between moderator and the one who spoke such language. And no I am not going bother how to teach it. As you can see it has side effect. But it can be used against other, such dropping peeps IQ for free. ^_^

 

Thats fine, I'm used to some people not liking me, but I still feel obligated to correct misconceptions.

 

So???let's speak ..."MODERATORS"

 

I sent Bella a nice, kindly written PM asking her to resign. I wouldn't doubt I'm going to get banned for it. Heres to hoping!

 

I don't understand why she doesn't address any of the points in this thread.

You make a constructive criticism guide, yet after you receive it from a vast portion of the community, you just shove it under the rug and resume some misplaced idealism.

Inb4 someone makes "How to address criticism" guide?

 

It was planned by someone, actually. o:

 

Just some ideas from some sources from the internet, seeing as she plagiarized her whole guide also. But I give credit to the sources I used unlike her

This one is written by Tejvan Pettinger, who works as a teacher and professor at Oxford.

Nobody likes being criticised but, unfortunately it is a fact of life. To be able to respond to criticism with nobility and detachment is an important life skill, which few people have. If we respond to criticism without careful consideration, it can easily lead to unnecessary suffering.
1. What Can I Learn from Criticism?
Most criticism is probably based, at least in part, on some truths. Criticism may appear negative. But, through criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions.
2. Respond to the suggestions not the tone of the criticism.
The problem is that people may make valuable critical suggestions. However, there tone and style of criticism means that we respond not to the suggestions but remember there confrontational manner. In this respect we need to separate the criticism from the style of criticism. Even if people speak in a tone of anger, we should try to detach their emotion from the useful suggestions which lie underneath.
3. Value criticism.
The problems is that quite often, we only value praise. When people speak kind words we feel happy. When people criticise we feel miserable. However, if we only received insincere praise and false flattery, how would we ever make progress? If we wish to improve and develop we should invite constructive criticism and appreciate their suggestions.
4. Don’t take it personally.
This is often the biggest problem which occurs with regard to criticism. If I criticise my Mother’s cooking, she feels personally offended. But, it is a mistake to identify ourselves with an apple pie. Somebody may find good reasons why our cooking is bad; but, this does not mean they are criticising ourselves. When people criticise us directly, we should feel they are not criticising our real self; but, just an unillumined aspect of ourselves. When we criticise others, we are perhaps criticising their pride or jealousy; but, the jealousy is a mere passing emotion, it is not the real person.
5. Ignore False Criticism.
Sometimes we are criticised with no justification. This is a painful experience. But, potentially we can deal with it more easily than criticism which is justified. One option is to remain aloof and ignore it completely. We should feel that false criticism is as insignificant as an ant trying to harm an elephant. If we remain silent and detached the criticism is given no energy. If we feel the necessity of fighting it – in a way, we give it more importance than it deserves. By remaining silent we maintain a dignity that others will come to respect.
6. Don’t Respond Immediately
It is best to wait a little before responding. If we respond with feelings of anger or injured pride we will soon regret it. If we wait patiently it can enable us to reflect in a calmer way.
7. Smile
Smiling, even a false smile, can helps us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibration and smoothes the situation. It will definitely help psychologically. Smiling will motivate the other person to moderate their approach.

A quote from Aristotle that accurately reflects your current predicament

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

And finally, the pros of embracing criticism, taken from tinybuddha.com. If you like it, make it into an official guide o.o

he Benefits of Criticism:

Personal Growth

1. Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. It’s not easy to take an honest look at yourself and your weaknesses, but you can only grow if you’re willing to try.

2. Learning from criticism allows you to improve. Almost every critique gives you a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow you visualize.

3. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and new ideas you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking.

4. Your critics give you an opportunity to practice active listening. This means you resist the urge to analyze in your head, planning your rebuttal, and simply consider what the other person is saying.

5. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Emotional Benefits

6. It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!

7. Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when you’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with your critic.

8. Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues. Maybe you’re sensitive about your intelligence because you’re holding onto something someone said to you years ago—something you need to release.

9. Interpreting someone else’s feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.

10. Criticism encourages you to question your instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

Improved Relationships

11. Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Oftentimes, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.

12. Fielding criticism well helps you mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for your personal growth, and damaging for relationships.

13. Your critics give you an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies. Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.

14. Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. If someone delivers it poorly, you can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”

15. Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend thinks you load the dishwasher “wrong.”

Time Efficiency

16. The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it.

17. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When you think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!

18. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.

19. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding the well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day.

20. In some cases, criticism teaches you how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future.

Self Confidence

21. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life. The more attention your work receives, the more criticism you’ll have to field.

22. When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. If you secretly agree that you’re lazy, you should get to the root of that. Why do you believe that—and what can you do about it?

23. Learning to move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel incredibly confident, ensures no isolated comment prevents you from seizing your dreams. Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff; takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!

24. When someone else appraises your harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor and change your thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!

25. Receiving feedback well reminds you it’s OK to have flaws—imperfection is part of being human. If you can admit weakness and work on them without getting down on yourself, you’ll experience far more happiness, peace, enjoyment, and success.

 

Its actually a very nice synthesis if I do say so myself. Although its quite easy to get numerous other sources from highly esteemed places because addressing criticism is something everyone has to deal with sports stars to everyday people ;o.

If someone wants to just format it and make it into an official guide, be my guest ;D

 

Informative wall of text ;3 very Educational maybe some mods could use it *winks*

 

I actually learned a bit reading a few of the things. Better than this essay I have to analyze about torture right now x.x.

 

I see some of us like to ignore posts stressing we should not ignore some things x.x.

I guess an official guide is needed, some sort of proponent to the useless Constructive Criticism guide. I mean, whats the point of one without the other?

Logic is amazing

 

some1 make a thread i just got my first warning ;3 ima cry in tears of joy. naw just kidding lmao hey B give me a high five!!! * moves hand away hahahah go ya* o.o

@zee nop eitgher u give cookies now or no votes!

@bella o.o quote you * Warnings serve as a reminder to you of the forum's rules, which you are expected to understand and follow.* o.o question at hand is why should we follow if you dont follow them

 

To think that people managed to craft the Magna Carta over 500 years ago, and people to this day still can't come to the same realization that they did.

You are not above the rules you create.

Also, funny side note, her new rules are nice and all, but she infracts for rules that are STILL not in there o.o. Such as posting PMs publicly. How was I supposed to know that was against the rules x.x.

 

Lol, Adi is part friend of Bella. Either way they realized the effect of infraction has to do with current Cropolite and Exidoid personality. Yet somehow they don't understand how they take the personality of the former ''ChocoboBam that need a pinkname''. xD

 

well sometimes it also depends on how it is formulated

"you suck, get out" is not constructive criticism contrary to what some might think ^^ but yeah a lot of the points about overmoderation made here r valid

 

just stating the obvious. nothing constructive comes out of an ignored thread.

would be nice to get a gm to READ the points mentioned and RESPOND to them ^^

@GMs it is an open and civilized discussion, the sooner you guys face it, the sooner people will stop flaming. Avoiding an issue that needs addressing will only increase the aggressiveness of people that deserve some answers

 

honestly think their intention is to let people flame it out in an ignored thread and drop the issue as if it never happened. if they dont respond for long enough, people start to lose interest