[Official Thread] Dirty Jokes >: (not for kids under the age of 10)

Got a joke that you want to share but you were afraid to post on forums? Well, now you can share it with the community here ^^



No 1.

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!

 

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

 

There should be a rule preventing people from putting [Official] on useless threads =|

 

You nab, post something worth OR better option for you is to gtfo my thread nao >:


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No 2.

Harry: I can talk to snakes
Ron: Yeah well Dumbledore gave me his magic lighter
Harry: I have an invisibility cloak
Ron: I have parents
Harry: I banged your sister
Ron: ......

 

It is useless cuz 99.9 percent of the posts on here will be copy/pasted from other joke sites.

Which is useless and retarded.

 

waaa Evul Echii

 

D'awwwwwwwwwwww... Don't be sad if your skills in using Google are not perfect yet. You'll learn to use it right one day~


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No 3.

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours?
SON: At school*Robot slaps Son*
SON: OK,I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again*
SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star.
DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!*Robot slaps Dad*
MOM: HAHA! After all he's your son.*Robot slaps mom*

 

xaxaxaxaxa xD

 

No 4.

Boy: Is it in?
Girl: *Groans* Yes.
Boy: Does it hurt?
Girl: HELL YEAH!
Boy: OK We'd better get a bigger pair of shoes!

 

.... Closing...

Because, this forum is not entirely age appropriate for these types of jokes... Sorry But no.