A question for Smartik, and others that do this..

So more and more I notice when people say "I wont ever have a gf" or.."I'm not good enough to have her" or thing like that, general lack of confidence

Why?

You guys realize that girls love confidence right? You don't have to be some douchebag to have it. You don't have to have a 6 pack and wear polo's and go clubbing every night.

Just..stop hating yourself. I know you guys probably don't literally hate yourself, but I mean seriously, please don't ever say that stuff even if you think it. It kills any thought of you being appealing to the average girl, because why should they like you if you say stuff like that?

I'm not going to sit here and pretend its easy to do, or that it you can get anyone you want, but you know what?

A while back I told myself that I'd start being completely honest and upfront with people, and even though I'm naturally a shy person that I'd approach people and I'd try to get to know them and ask them out and such if I liked them. How did that go? To this date its the best decision I've ever made.

Take some advice from me, and cut the "I won't get anyone" bullshit, because that'll get you less people than if you were just quiet to begin with, and instead of being quiet for that matter, go out and pursue who you want, you'll be surprised just how far you can get with a little bit of confidence.

just dont be a douche with said confidence

douches are bad

theon is a douche

I hate theon.

 

Also another advice I'd say is, don't ask a women out in inappropriate places, like a restroom, a club or a library, word will go around in a awkward way like Chinese whisper.

 

What?... no white text hidden in your post?

lol joke!

I sometimes feel like that but then my mummy tells me how handsome i am and i spring back up

 

What if you're colorblind sir?

 

oh god
oh GOD
OH GOD

oh...wait..you don't mean that kind of "spring back up"

FALSE ALARM EVERYONE


i love you sycth <3

 

I shall deflect that comment!

 

I HAVE SPOKEN

[video=youtube;wXlH4S84GNw]http/www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXlH4S84GNw[/video]

No but really, you are amazing sir for posting ponies.

 

It's ok buddy.. if you ever feel down again i will help you out!

That's what we do!

 

If I ever feel down again? wut

 

I dunno.... i just wanted to post bunnies

 

Being honest, and before I have Noonie say "LOLOLOLOLOOL STRAIGHT GUYS TAKING ADVICE FROM A FAG LOLOLOLOL **** FAG GO TO HELL" or something else riddiculous....


(1) VERY FLAMING INSECURE WOMEN like douchebags, feel the need to be with them, and feel the need to be with "the tough guy". This is a very apparant thing in highschool, always the braindead jock who gets the hot girls, bangs them,etc.

Reality? I've freaking SEEN the people who used to bang my head into a locker during highschool and Jr high, smash sandwiches into my locker combination, take a piss on my school notes, etc.

What were they like? Jobless, beer-bellied, single, and revolting individuals.

People change DRAMATICALLY after highschool, and usually then the individuals who actually obtained a positive character will rise to the top... and braindead morons and douchebags fall to the bottom of the pile. Why? Because who the HELL wants to hire/work with someone that is a narcissistic egomaniac? Most likely they'd rather see you fail than even pay you minimum wage.

(2) No one, and I mean it, NO ONE LIKES A PERSON WHO IS INTO THEMSELVES.

I don't care if you're god damned Brad Pitt, I couldn't care if you have a Mercedes Benz S or whatever (Mommy and daddies money doesn't impress me either, actually, it kind of turns me off.), I don't care what degrees you have.

I really don't.

What I want is a person who (1) likes me for who I am (2) isn't so caught up in themselves I want to vomit (3) has some sort of inspiration or goals. I couldn't care if it is to rebuild a car... or if it is to build a freaking space-colony when you grow up, I want inspiration. I CANNOT STAND people who are "complacent".

I loathe complacent people actually. Perhaps it is a bit of jealousy as well since I am not one. It turns me off from the skin to the bone, people who think of "money" "parties" "big fancy houses" and other man-made bullshit.

(3) Beer. Parties. Alcohol. Getting laid.

Uhm... I hate to admit it but the societal hype about sex? I think its retarded. STD's freaking everywhere, drugs, etc. The entire thing is retarded. I will NEVER be impressed by people who do these sorts of things.

And in terms of people who get laid? It shows how much lack of character they have and how INSECURE these people are.Why Lol? Because it shows they don't have (1) SELF CONTROL (2) ANYTHING BETTER TO DO (3) and that they are CONTROLLED by THEIR LITTLE HEAD.

I honestly don't mean to sound condescending, but they are trash. I could care less how much they are paid, who their mommy and daddy are, if they are gorgeous, etc. They are all trash.

Foolish, naive, compulsive and controlled by BORING neural-circuritry trash.



Summary?

I want a person who has DEPTH to them, I don't want some cookie cutter "I'm so hot" piece of trash. I want an individual whos got enough spine to say "sure, I'm not perfect, but I am damn good". And everyone has good traits, and I LEGITIMATELY mean it.

I want someone who is DOWN TO EARTH. I don't want someone who accepts ****ing zeigeist methods of thinking, ideals that are handed to them that they devour. Thinking that the side effects of a drug are "normal" and not because the concentration of a drug is too high and affecting receptors with lesser affinity than the desired ones. I don't want a person who thinks that partying, sex, hot girls/guys and etc is the "best part of the world". That is naive and dellusional thinking, soceity has primed us to think like a bunch of sheep.

To be with me you also need to be WISE. This does not mean I need you to have a doctorate, a degree, or anything. I want someone who can, similar to above, think outside the box. I kind of want to scrape my face off when I hear someone who hears something on the news and they go "OH THAT MUST BE RIGHT!" or reads a tabloid and thinks "OH DEAR LORD IT MUST BE TRUE!".

They need to be INTO THEIR OWN LIVES. I cannot STAND gossiping people, people who worry about others, people whos entire LIFEEE hangs onto the balance if BRANGELINA gets together for the 4328472389423th time.

CONFIDENCE is something that isn't handed in a bucket. People think it is. NO. ITS NOT. It is something you must breed within yourself, tapering so that confidence remains confidence and it doesnt turn into narcissism or some IRRITATING other form of it. I like a man who can tell me how it is, what he feels and be honest (my next point), I am not interested in him waivering or being scared of me... that makes -me- feel AWKWARD.

HONESTY. Can't be honest with me? Get out of my life right now, I have no time for trash that lies. If you lie about something like getting 80% on a test you really got 30% on I am fine with that... but you tell me you're going to do X... then you BETTER do it. Otherwise I'll happily throw you to the side as I have with many people. Theres enough lying and bullshit in this world, I don't condone it and I sure as hell am not going to be "soulmates" with a filthy liar, someone who I can't even rely on or trust.


That is all I want in a person, I don't give ten flying ****s about how educated they are, how much money they have, what car they drive, etc. I don't care if they have friends, family, or anything really. Those critereon must be met, above, though.

 

Well said Aegis

Though you went a bit far off of a topic ;p I'm only here to discuss confidence and how negative being negative about yourself can be

but yes, douches are bad. Not having aspirations is bad. lots of things are bad, and you brought up several of them, good points sir.

 

Aegis, you're making me feel paranoid about my future. I'm still in High School, wait another year for these intimidating comments e.e

 

Sadly its a full circle :<

--------Now ima continue

Ah, yes, and now I'll delve into looks because I guess thats importaint.

Yes, looks are nice, they are fabulous, and awesome, and great.

#1: People age, most people LACK genetics that will carry them looking like angels through old-age. VERY FEW do.

#2: As people get older, so does their libido, they start to care less and less about acquiring the "perfect" ass.


Now I'll delve into a personal ANGST story of musclebound imbeciles.

Guys are EXPECTED (almost) by society to have that giant puffy chest, a nice 6pac and etc.

I walk around and what I see is the equivalent of flamingo's. Guys who exercize their chest and abs and blatantly ignore their glutes, legs, back and shoulders.

I almost FACEPALM at this.

It is not hot. It is not cool, and you resemble a flamingo when you do this.

NEXT off... even if you do have it. You do realize that its NOT THAT DAMNED HARD TO GET? Sure, it requires some work. Yes, some people start skinny and it takes some effort on their part.

But you do realize that a skinny person can get ripped in 3 months now? With supplimentation its EASY. And no I don't mean roids. I mean a protien powder, creatine and water. (And if you are fat you actually have an advantage to gain musclemass, but you need much cardio to balance it out and show-off your results.)

So these guys who may train well and look great, good physiques... etc... who pick on people or GOSSIP (which I stated already is the sign of a weak and pathetic person to me) about others... I almost laugh. They instantly killed any attractive quality they had by being a judgemental imbecile. Everyone starts out weak, EVERYONE, quite litterally we start as a boring egg that is fertilized by a sperm.. a mass of cells forms and then that divides... we all start out pathetic and weak and a mere puff of air could have annihilated our existance.

So these "HURRRRRR I GRUNT WHEN I LIFT THINGS" guys impress me about as... oh, yes, thats right, NOT THAT MUCH @_@.

I personally GO OUT OF MY WAY to help those who are starting out. Why? Because I had to start out too and it SUCKED, I was a complete RETARD when it came to it. Supplimentation plans, meal plans, workout plans, etc. I'd help em out.

And I've seen these people come back even a year later like beasts.

And in terms of those guys ... and we've all encountered them, that walk shirtless with their "muscles showing"... those are probably the most insecure people. No one wants to see random abs on some terrifyingly insecure person, even if they are desperate, its unattractive and screams "hey, i lift things, look at me!".

So in terms of "good looks" through muscle. Yeah, its nice, but ANYONE can get it and ... quite honestly...tahts true. I've seen people who've have NO HANDS (removed through accident, amputation, etc) acquire it. So people who say they can't do it... they are just inhibiting themselves. Takes very little effort and its just an hour 3 times a week pretty much. Go in-> go out. Oh and I guess eat 'kinda healthy', it helps. @_@



So the musclebound ***** that thinks hes better than someone else, or makes someone else feel wrong, is a total and utter insecure retard in my mind. And should be in others as well.

 

Crtl + f what eagis wrote, nup no teliak in it, i not reading ;p

 

God Eagis your avatar <3 and the wall of text -.-



O.T.
some advice, it may not really have to be upfront when you want to know someone, it could either be through any other means of communication available that you feel you can connect to someone, that way you won't be shy at all.

just don't ask someone to be your special someone through msn or phone or...

 

I wasn't asking for any advice ;_; i was giving ;p

 

Omg Aegis thats too long. I felt like I just got asked to read the first two pages of Hamlet.

I agreed with your first paragraph which is what I read in depth.

I think having the "if you can't do it great, don't even try" attitude will bring you down a lot.
Insecurity is for sure.. the #1 reason relationships end with anyone, be it friends, gfs, bfs. Be happy with yourself, and always feel like your best is more than enough. Someone who likes that(you) will naturally find you.

@ Eagis, Aegis w/e:
Flamingos are hawt, dawg.

 

well not really giving it directly to you too, i just said "on topic" so...