People change, and so do I.

At some point in life, everyone changes in some way or another, some for good, and some..not so much. We usually have tons of these changes, and I know I've had lots myself, but lately I've been noticing more of a change in myself than normal.

I've always tried to be the nice guy, I normally have a pretty lighthearted mood and I just enjoy life, even if shitty stuff happens all the ****ing time.

Unfortunately, I've noticed myself become a lot more bitter lately. Not just on the gamez forums, but the gamez forums are a perfect example. I was browsing through old posts/threads I've made last night, and it kindof hit me how much I've changed. Not to say I've -always- been nice, that would be bullshit and everyone knows it, I'm as guilty as anyone here when it comes to being an *******. Regardless of that, I can see a curve where my posts go from what rokowo or regii would call "cute" to being a lot more "negative" and bitter.

It just seems like I don't give a shit anymore, like I'm slowly becoming more deadened to emotion and only a few people can really bring it out in me.

Meh, I don't know what I'm really getting at with even making this thread. I don't want advice, because I'm pretty stubborn and you probably all know it. I don't want forgiveness, as I've asked such several times, at least to certain people, and it'd be stupid to keep asking over and over again.

Anyway, I guess I've been becoming a bit of a douche and an ******* and caring a lot less about what people think which isn't at all what I should be doing, so maybe I can change that and be more cute, and less negalucent.

-for sake of discussion, have any of you noted any changes in your personality lately, major things that you dislike or maybe things that made your life better?

 

you're an @ss!


ofc thats a joke <-

@topic: when I started in gamez I was hostile against staff members and co-players, probably because of my tiring schedule before. Then I changed and now I'm neutral, IDC anymore, I just try to have fun as long as gamez lasts. I still have hopes" for it to get better but that doesnt matter, its fun here, to be with people that makes you happy when your real life happiness is consumed by stress and study.

 

People rarely change, if ever, we just use a different lense to see things, also we disguise a lot to fit in, and to show the good side of oneself--- which is utterly bullshit, until one figures it out.

anyway... whatever

 

well, i did.

i was the type of "funny, talkative" guy. yet in the past weeks im becoming more and more cold. i just dont feel like im my old self. i dont make jokes anymore with my friends, i dont laugh that much, sometimes i have some moments in which i just try to make a distance between me and my friends when we`r walking on the streets so i can just listen to my thoughts, thing which is followed by 20-30 minutes of total silence from me. also, my grades at school went from good to extremely bad, i was usually a really good student, i never took a grade lower than 8, and now i started to take grades like 2 and 4. also, arguing with my parents, `specially my dad.

well, sry for the wall of text, i just felt like sharing my feeling.

 

Nope. I'm still the same sarcastic ******* who has absolutely no heart at all..... and I enjoy it.

 

thats a superficial trait... is not you--- change we talk about values and how we understand the world.... funny and talkative depends on emotions... which change constantly

 

I've been disrespecting everyone lately... i even kicked my best friend from my legion because he invited an anuhart newb while the minimum requirement is EGT/EAT. Dunno.. i've become much more aggressive than i was in the past.. i even insult my parents, god, etc.

 

I've become much more relaxed on a lot of things. When I was younger, I used to get so frustrated and angry with things. It didn't matter what it was, it would just tick me off and I'd explode at someone. Now that I'm in my 30s, I feel like none of that gets anything done. If I'm arguing with someone, I don't need to yell at them because I could say harsh things at a normal speaking voice and they would hurt much more than screaming nonsense.

The people I've lost in my life... the things that felt like such huge problems back then, they don't matter anymore. Maybe it's because I'll never speak to them again, but I even consider those good moments now. Looking back at all those small bickering things and seeing how insignificant they are, it makes me smile now. I actually kind of miss them since they were so much better than the things that tend to happen later on in life. All I can do is be grateful for all the moments I have with people, good or bad. But now I try and always push for the good, because I don't want to wake up again one day have someone knocking on my door and saying someone won't be coming home anymore. And me thinking about all the bitter moments I had with them when they could have been so much sweeter.

 

I try to look at life in a positive outlook, i just recently managed to get out of major debt after 2 years of worrying every night, and although i still owe money to some people (Uni related) i still hide all the bad stuff and concentrate on the good stuff (No concentration bug here)

With that being said, i tend to get highly insulted by anything here at Gamez, i don't know if it's because there are a lot of trolls or people who are quick to put you down that i have had to build a defensive wall to any new comer/poster.

Take xGenocide for example, he came into the forums posting many...many threads which is pretty unusual for a new comer here and for some reason i got defensive (like this is my home or something lol) and i decided to dislike him.
This is totally uncalled for i know but it's just how i get with newbies, it turns out he joined the same Legion as me and we talk nearly every night on Skype now and he is such a great dude and i respect him loads.

I even told him that i didn't like him at first for no reason and he apologised to me.. lol!
There was no apology needed imo.

But anyways, yeah do change but only to new people really which i need to work on.




Oh and Lucent, you're just a cuddly bear to me