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The Jolly Rancher.

Discussion in 'Old Threads' started by ghost521, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. ghost521

    ghost521 Lucent's name is Jeremy

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    Reddit, What's the grossest/nastiest thing that's happened to you in a sexual encounter? I'll go first... (self.AskReddit)

    -Nothing tops the Jolly Rancher story.
    Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.
    He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.
    In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.
    It was a nodule of gonorrhea.
    As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a ****ing Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...
    He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and ****ed some random guy and the stupid ***** had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.
    So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.



    [​IMG]
     
  2. Autumn

    Autumn Banned

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    Heard it. One of the guys at military training presented it as a story that happened to his friend. I knew he was lying.
     
  3. ghost521

    ghost521 Lucent's name is Jeremy

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    It was fake, but first-timers are in for a helluva fun ride. Just like the camel spider hoax.

    [​IMG]
    Hi there!
     
  4. crimsonfang

    crimsonfang Well-Known Member

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    that creepy bear.......o_O
     
  5. crimsonfang

    crimsonfang Well-Known Member

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    D**NM U ghost521!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    that freak spider hoax, and its redish nasty fangs....X_X

    i was planning to make my favorite fried Tempura this night.............T_T
    u ruined it.........T_T
     
  6. ghost521

    ghost521 Lucent's name is Jeremy

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    I thought it was the Jolly Rancher that did that to you.
     
  7. crimsonfang

    crimsonfang Well-Known Member

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    I'll switch to Chicken Shawarma instead for this night:d
     
  8. Autumn

    Autumn Banned

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    Good old camel spiders. Also known in the army at reville as ARRRGH!!! SWEET TITTYFU*KING JESUS LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS MOTHERFU*KER!!
     

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