Ashes of Phoeninx, Story Line. Writen by mee. =3

Hai everyone! Im Phoeninx. I got a big fantasy, and make things, and characters in my head, so I'd made a story. I post those stories on my group, in parts, because elseway it wouldnt fit. Later I will apply more stories. To get on group page, go to: http://forum.gameznetwork.com/group.php?groupid=162
I hope you like it! And for a group-member request, reply in this thread.

 

Hi Pheoeninx ..

 

I suggest proofreading and editing. Try not to use words like "tho."

As someone who has been struggling with strong writing for some time, I suggest developing a distinctive style also. From the little bit I read, it is a tad flat, and that causes people to lose interest.

But keep continuing, writing is a great thing, and I hope my constructive criticism helped

 

i'm joining group and reading historyz. =)

 

Thanks for the advice, I will use it for my next story. =3

 

Yeah. Try not to use so many simple sentences. Mix it up. Proper grammar isn't always necessary, in fact unique grammar is more interesting. Try using a smart mixture of long and short sentences to emphasize certain details. Build pathos throughout. Use a variety of diction. Creative ideas often fall flat with bad writing. A creative writing becomes a work of literature when the author meticulously writes each line with a purpose in mind ;o.

Some tips I've learned myself as I grew as a writer

 

Oh. I gonna try, I can learn of it. I'm.. realy young, compared to the most on this forum. So I can learn of your advice alot. =o