International Rules of Manhood

International Rules of Manhood

- Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

- It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) After wrecking your boss’ car.
(c) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.


- Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

- Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

- If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

- Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

- No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

 

More International Rules of Manhood

- On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

- When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

- It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a gorgeous woman and only when it’s free.

- Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy.

- Unless you’re in prison, never fight unclothed.

- Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

- If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.