Child Abuse .. it's so hard to go on

You can leave if you feel this is child abuse.
Stop thinking that evading them, or fighting back is all you can do.

You do not have to put up with it. If you feel you're in an unstable household, seek help.
Times have changed.
Talk to your school counselor. They can, and will help you talk to child services.

You need to make a difference. "avoiding" them or trying to physically hard them isn't going to get you anywhere.

 

Regii, I know that living with parents is difficult, they sometimes hit you when you disobey them, it happens to a lot of people. Im 16 and I still get smacked. Sometimes parents overreact, sometimes they are doing it for the reason that they believe you deserve that form of punishment. It just happens. Not all parents discipline their children in the same way, but some do use physical punishment as the resolution. I've been hit for reasons that are very justifiable, and i've been hit for reasons that were completely uncalled for. It depends on how your parents view it. It hurts, yeah, its meant to. I personally do not believe in physical punishment. I know that with my children, i will never, EVER lay my hands on them. Its just something I could never bring myself to do.
Parents see it as you... disobeying, disrespecting, etc and they see abuse as the proper punishment. Its obviously not, its not even close. If parents have an issue they should sit you down and talk about it, not resort to violence. Mouthing off to your parents, depending on the severity of it, sometimes the parent will see it as a reason to hit the child. Sometimes they take great offense to what has been said and they believe that the child should be punished. Some children, words don't get through, some children, physical punishment doesn't get through, some children, NOTHING gets through and they become the worlds degenerates by making the stupid choices that their parents were only trying to prevent by disciplining them.
My parents usually do not hit me, my father has really done stuff in the past, but it was justifiable in a way. My mother has slapped me other times as well and its been completely well deserved. Other times i've been slapped and the only thing i could think of was WTF did i do? D: and it was just unnecessary. It all depends on how the parent is.
Some parents were raised in households to where physical punishment was the only punishment, such as both of my parents, so they brought a form of them into their parenting. No, its nothing even close to as severe as it was when they were children, and I feel lucky that I didn't have to grow up in the households that they did. They just saw physical punishment as a form of punishment that is deserved in some situations.
As i said, I do not believe in physical punishment, and I don't think your dad has the right to slap you, but its not a big deal. I know it hurts, i know that you get bruises from it and sometimes worse, but its not a big deal. A slap? there were times i was wishing for a slap instead of a full on punch to the jaw, but what can you do, its how your parents feel is the best form of discipline.
You're 12, soon your parents will establish a lot more trust in you and they will treat you as more of an equal, of course, you're still their daughter, and they will discipline. But as you grow older, you will see the justification in a lot of the punishment that they give you. Even mouthing off, you will see the justification of it in ways. Its wrong, but its justifiable in ways.
Just remember, your father loves you, and if he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have hit you. He did it to discipline you to help you fix an error in yourself. You may not see it as that, but that is indeed what he was doing. Good Luck, you only have to live at home for another 6 years, I only have 2 more. Then I'm moving to Australia with Nikita to begin our family life, and i know that I will take some parenting methods from my parents and use them on our daughter and our future children, but physicality is something i will leave behind me. Its not right, even if it is justifiable. Nothing will ever make me lay my hands on our daughter or other children,no matter the severity of the situation.

I hope that it doesn't continue like this, and I know that it won't. You may not see an end to it, but as you grow older it will stop. I rarely get slapped anymore, ever. And when I do, i know I deserved it.

Good luck Regi!

oh and..

She didn't miss your points, she was stating that there are different parenting methods for different children and that not all methods work. Abuse is wrong by all means, but sometimes, even if it is wrong, a child needs to be physically punished in order to finally realize the wrong of the situation. Again, this is something I wouldn't do, but for the major degenerates who are living in this world, they need a wake up call. You can't call someone stupid because they don't agree with your views, that's completely ignorant. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and its obviously different than yours. Learn to understand that before you begin to insult others, you're far from a genius, that's fairly well known in these forums.

 

Iam a broom-stick veteran i still have scars guess its how parents were raised in certain cultures beating your kids is doing them a favor to me its obviously wrong traumatizing a child cn seriously affect there future and way of interacting with friends a spouse thats why poeple wonder why there are alot of husbands who beat there wives and visa-versa its been proven that most of the time the vicitim becomes an abuser over time.

 

get on ts i have to talk to you about this A to B.

 

well fighting back doesn't work either i got into a fist fight with my dad and i hurt him real bad i felt so bad i broke down and started crying its never a good idea to fight back but once you show them that they can no longer physically hurt you in to submission or break your spirits then you've won the fight to win the battle one must fight with peace for example if you beat on someone for no reason and they don't fight back and just take it without crumbling you start to wonder "what is wrong with this person why are they not affected by me". but i can tell you this the scars that my parents gave me made me a tolerant, and unbendable person both physically a mentally never stop believing always aim for it and if you have to turn the other cheek do it with strength and courage.

i know this sounds like horrible advice but gotta remember even though sometimes when your mad you forget they love you to some weird degree also another thing NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER THREATEN YOUR PARENTS not with anything it NEVER works and makes things worse trust me i got beat with a cellphone for onetime saying i would call the cops truth is a house with 2 primitive parents is better then an orphanage.

 

This man speaks the truth.
You don't get anything out of it. Absolutely nothing.

If you lose, then they're just going to use it against you in the future.
If you win, you'll be forever seen by your own parents and relatives as a stranger/spoiled brat who can't even embrace family values.

It's a lose-lose situation; it's only going to hurt you in the long run.

 

are you serious? or you are exaggerating things bit? don't get mad but, I'm just having doubts about your story. and judging by how you reacted, i don't think you're telling us the truth. "FEEL FREE TO FLAME ME" if I'm wrong, but please be honest. And yes ofcourse i'm against child abuse.

 

My parents won't even dare argue with me, I always win.. but if i know they're right. I'll just shut up!

 

No im not exaggerating nor am i lying because knowing child abuse, the results can be 3784239042 times worse.
You could probably compare mine to some other child's.
Their experience may or may not be as bad mine, or worse.

 

parents are never perfect. most just wants the best for their children. i couldn't imagine a parent any other way. me and my twin sister got slapped or punished a couple of times in the past but that's because we really did something bad. we love our parents, they are very supportive and will always be there for us.

i do not know the circumstances but talking back to your parents during heated arguments is not a good idea. i think that while they continue to support you and live in the house, you follow their wish(within limits). until you grow up, move out and can support yourself that is. then you can do whatever you want.

but if this happens a lot, it may be time to speak to someone like a school counsellor, lifeline/kids help line(for australia). don't go to the police, they are not equipped to handle these things and will make it worse. if you have a relative you can trust, you can try speaking to them also. these people will handle the rest.

hope everything turns out well and good luck.

 

Never talk back to your parents... Never.
as much as possible, let them be, you prove them wrong by showing your right, not by telling/talking to them trying to convince them.

i learned that when i was a kid, i am considered to be the black sheep of our family and i get worse things than u do, but i never hate them, for without them im not here now. they maybe wrong at most times , but they are not perfect too, so i understand.

i can assure you tho that your dad isnt happy of what he did, (as a father myself, if i hurt my child, i will feel uneasy and sad about it).

just try next time to control your mouth to them, you will really get punished if u talk back since you are still in your father's roof.

and ps:
dont try to leave your house because of this, if u do that, it will be the worst decision of your life.

 

I think you should disregard information or advice given to you from people who lack the knowledge or experience of what you're dealing with or that have no parenting skills. Do some research yourself and decide if your parents are actually abusive. Abuse vs discipline. There should be many articles out there, you could look for the more credible ones and weigh out the facts for yourself. There may even be more kids like yourself with different cultural backgrounds.

 

Man...
It might not seem like it but, even if it does take 6 years it does get better. Hell it might even take longer. It took me 9 years for it to get better but it does, eventually.

 

hmm...

I was abused when I was a kid - enough to be taken away from my "home" and put into foster care. looking back now - as I always do, I don't think I deserved anything that my mothers boyfriend put me through. Nothing I did was actually in the wrong. That guy was just crazy, had/s anger issues, and took everything out on me

now, I'm 26, 12 years later - and I blame him for screwing up my childhood, and I'm still not over it. Because of him, I find it hard to trust anybody at all, I assume everybody will hurt me for no reason. Thus, I can't make new friends. I couldn't have friends over - and was ALWAYS grounded to my room, so, I never learnt to interact well with others. I used to be hyperactive, and somewhat happy throughout all the horse shit. I'd be the light of the 'class room' I guess... and now, I'm no longer that friendly boy. I'm extremely introvert and keep to myself. I find it easier to be accepted by people online - cause if they don't accept me - who the **** cares - they're blocked end of story =). I can't do that in real life. I walk around with sunglasses on and believe I'm invisible to the world while they're on. In the fight or flight situation, I'm extremely flight. I can argue online cause well, your ass can't hit me. But irl, I barely say one word every other day. I kind of like my life, but I kind of hate it. I wonder - if that cock sucker never beat me every day of my childhood, would I be able to make real friends now? would I have real friends now? would I be so introvert and ignore everybody around me? Would I maybe talk in a group of people that I know?

Truth is, it ****ed me up hardcore - by the time I got into foster care I was beyond repair.

So bravo to you for being kind of chipper about it - just try to find a way out before it puts you in the same mind**** I'm in. =).

BTW: My moms boyfriend cut me with knives, hit me with swords (in the case) tried to stab me with a sword.. threw me down the stairs, and hit me so hard he busted 3 of my teeth at once...

what did I do that could be determined as bad enough to do that? well let's see:
we lived in a place with a yard big enough to take 10 min to walk to the street from the house. It took me 2 days to cut the grass (I wasn't even tall enough to push the lawn mower properly), when I cleaned the dog crap up - he'd pretty much go out with a magnifying glass to inspect it... if I left a SMUDGE on the grass, well - all hell broke lose.

Yes, I was a bad ass. I never talked back, I cried every night wanting to die. When I turned 18, I over dosed and slept for 6 days and nobody checked on me. I wonder every day why I survived to have my life NOT get better, and NOT change. I've tried numerous times and well... it doesn't ever change. I just seem to get knocked down further to a point where I don't want to bother trying anymore.

I hope 2012 is real cause I know I'm not 'man enough' to try suicide again...

and btw, this is all true. I'm not bullshitting - and uhm... yeah... I'm not after pity or anything. Just hopefully - if you're abused - you can avoid the outcome I've grown into.

 

^ o_o .

 

Parents hits their kids all over the world, it happens in every single family. Sometimes it might get over the limits and parents might lose the control because their kids think too much and protest too much for their age. Like seriously now, there are some kids now days who think that they know everything better than the adults, but they are wrong. The thing is that most kids realize their mistakes when they become parents themselves.

For example: A kid wants to stay out later than 11pm, while he/she is only 12~15 years-old. In our world where there are so many maniacs and sick in mind (pervs) all around, every parent will fear for the safety of his/her child. Isn't it right?

I don't try to say that your father is right. Because I don't know the whole situation/ story and how it happened, one thing is sure: the way he reacted was too much for a child with your personality.